Try

“Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.” - Albert Einstein

A Quote

Quote of the day: A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life - Darwin

Time.

Where does it go.

Where has it gone.

I remember being a kid. A teenager even. Every day was a chance to grab life by the horns and go do something, anything. Something spontaneous, interactive. Nothing could stop us. I never hesitated, or questioned why I did anything. I just DID it.

I'd find myself in the middle of a snow filled Saskatchewan highway, feet away from our vehicle yet barely within eyesight of the muffler. I'd spin around that same highway uncontrollably and laugh at how many times we could have died. We'd quit our jobs, do our best to book a batch of shows and never stopped smiling for a month straight, even when the show was canceled, no one showed up or we didn't even get gas money. It didn't matter. We were the kids, and nothing could touch us.

They say that at a certain age, your brain, once it is fully developed, changes. You desire less the things that were once essential. Your dreams, passions and perspectives... are altered. You are literally no longer naive. You are technically and physically fully developed.

A friend of mine has been telling me for years that "Music Keeps Us Young". I like the sound of this. To me it explains why all us kids in bands never seem to age...you all look the exact same as you did when we were 16 and playing our first shows together. Our lives haven't changed much either. Maybe you toured a bunch more, finally made it to Australia...I hear so-and-so got engaged...what ever happened to Sarah?...man you look EXACTLY the same...the more things change, the more they stay the same...

Do you look back on your life and feel regret? I feel like my childhood, if anything, I was so petrified of wasting a moment, that I did everything I could to do anything unconventional. Staying up all night, driving all over for any reason at all, quitting any job at the drop of a hat and never looking back...I did everything I could so that I wouldn't wake up one morning and think "Where did my life go?"

From 12 to 22 I spent more time living out of a backpack than carrying out the stability that is conventional in our culture. But after too much of that, you just want to stay in one place for awhile. Even though I've been back and forth from L.A. to Vancouver for the last year and half, I do feel my roots starting to sink in to the soil. Does this mean I am wasting precious time?

Please let me know if you see any typos. I have been typing fairly fast.

Random fact about me: My first 3 tattoos were birthday presents.

Music Video?

In case ya didn't know it, awhile back I shot a music vid with some pals.

I spent the first day covered in real and fake dirt, the first part of the second day in a dress with my hair and makeup all done up, and then the last part of the second day in real and fake dirt again.

Although I wasn't in full wardrobe, I had mixed feelings while on the skytrain home after the shoot. I still had real and fake dirt in my hair, on my face and on my hands and under my nails.

It had been about 15 years since I was covered in only real dirt, riding the skytrain trying to kill some time cause it was cold and I didn't know where to sleep. Although I didn't spend too many nights like this (I tried to have a tentative "plan" more often than not...a friend, a neighbour, a relative...anything), there were a couple times I slept under a slide, in a park or in an unlocked car (it was raining). I remember being so pissed at Avril Lavigne when I saw that video where she's in the pouring rain trying to get into a car. I remember thinking "You bitch! I've actually done that!" Anyway...I digress...

Whilst on said skytrain, you'd be surprised how different people act around you when you're covered in makeup that's supposed to make you look like a transient vagabond. Youre no longer an invisible commuter on the skytrain. Suddenly, everyone is AFRAID. They're afraid of you, and whether they say or do anything to suggest it, you can just FEEL it. I could have tried to tell anyone I was homeless, "Listen, don't worry! I'm actually a perfectly nice person PRETENDING to be homeless! You'll never believe it...I actually shot a music video today and this dirt on my face and under my nails isn't even real!!!"

Do you think they'd believe me?

There have been some mixed feelings about whether or not the "concept" of the vid suits the song...I leave that for you to judge. Feel free to leave a comment as well as check out my blog on the subject.

Well, here it be:

A Lil Sumthin About My Lil Ol Video

A friend of mine checked out the new video for These City Lights and said

The video looks fantastic, I just feel lost on the concept. (which is all me, I'm sure of it) haha It's like I'm singing all the wrong words again. I still love it and I'm showing it to all my friends ♥

Fist of all, very nice way to ask a question. Oh why can't we all be so kind!

The video is not really a "concept" video. There is no plot, time line, story to follow or script. Once again we began with an idea of what we were not/what we did not want to do, and ended with what we are.

The purpose of the contrasting characters is to portray just that...the contrast in society, sobriety, reality, dreamscapes and city scapes. At the end of the day it's just me, and I'm just me, but I'm living in two different worlds. If these two characters were not me, would you perceive them differently? Would you, perchance, judge them?

Although they live in separate universes, they have some similarities. Sure, they're both me. More importantly though, there is some heartbreak in there in both of them. And at the end of the day, isn't there a little bit of heartbreak in all of us?

From islands apart we see the debutante and transient are actually very similar. Perhaps they are identical. And in our struggles and times of triumph alike, perhaps we all are.

A Lil Music Video

Some friends and I made a lil video for the song These City Lights. Please view and let us know what you thought:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uODJ18BQlMc

Made A Music Video

Thank you Jason, Jon, Todd, Ari, Lauren and Tamar.

What I'm Not

For as long as I can remember, I have known what I am not.

In fact, I've know exactly what I'm not.

I'm not this, that, or the other thing.

I'm not like them, one of those or part of that.

I'm not up for grabs, paying attention or looking around.

My head has been down, gaze hardly shifting, my pupils a pinpoint at a point right in front

Why?

I'm not easily distracted, or buying just because there is a sale

I'm not connected to the mainland

I wasn't built to be bought, made to be sold and I don't make songs that should be played on the radio

I'm not popular or the life of any party

I do not entertain

I'm not the class clown or the prom queen

I'm not the guitar player, drummer, pianist, bass player OR lead singer

And although I have known for this long

All the things that I am not

I just recently started to see

What I am

Time

Oh mah gaaaaaad.

Soooo busy.

New music video. Coming out this week. Woohoo!

Mixing new Billy and the Lost Boys songs. Woohoo!

Learning to read MUSIC. I know, right ;)

Show plans: up coming. Just getting out the map and remembering how to drive.

Couple gigs in Vancouver, one with the singer of the Loved Ones doing an acoustic set. Check out the show page for deets.

Time.

Where does it go?

I do not know.